Vulcan Selfie

Well, I took a photo of my costume, like I’d said I would, but the problem is that there wasn’t enough light, so it turned out horribly grainy, which meant that when I got home, I had to take a new picture.

So… I had to do a Vulcan Selfie (no Vulcan duck-face, sorry).

I even tried to crop it to look like it wasn’t a shameless Vulcan selfie. But then I told you it was, so that ruined the effect.

Anyway, I had a good time. I was in charge of answering the door, and every time I heard people, I would say, “I hear children!” I felt like Mary from Hocus Pocus, except with heightened hearing instead of olfactory perception. Though, I think the absolute best part was when this little Connor from Assassin’s Creed 3 showed up at the door.

I said, “You must be from Assassin’s Creed.”

He stared at me baffled for a minute. “Actually, you are correct.” I think he must have been all of ten years old, so it was my turn to be surprised. Then he said, “You’re from Star Trek! …Spock?”

“Not quite. Sylvik.” I decided I wasn’t going to try to be Spock because a) I am blonde, b) I have blue eyes, c) SPOCK WOULD BE ASHAMED BY MY PHYSIQUE, and d) I was wearing my glasses. So, I’d mentally given myself the title Science Officer Sylvik of the USS Erebus, on a diplomatic mission to Earth to foster beneficial inter-species and interplanetary relations by participating in a traditional Earth holiday.

Anyway, I gave him his candy, and as he turned to leave, I wished him a Happy Hallow’s Eve and gave him the Vulcan salute. He nearly tripped over himself. “Hello!” he stammered out before realizing his error. “I mean, bye!”

Then I closed the door and my parents and I all dissolved into giggles at the sheer cute. I think his brain must have exploded in a rain of confetti inside his skull.

So, I think I’ll probably dress as a Vulcan again next year. I’ll have a little more practice, and possibly a tribble, too. We’ll see.

As an after note, my official report to Starfleet will state that humans are not yet ready for interplanetary relations.

Required Physicals on the Enterprise

So, it’s well-known that every crewmember on board the USS Enterprise needs to undergo regular physicals to ensure their continued health and fitness (and also to monitor how fat the captain’s getting). Today was Grimm and Bones’ physical check-up day pending their one-month anniversary! (I got them on September 29th.)

It came in correspondence with my birthday because I decided that I will then be able to compare them with their previous selves each year and see exactly how much they’ve grown. However, I also plan to weigh and measure them in what will probably be bi-weekly installments to ensure they’re growing well.

So, here are the results!

Here’s Grimm. HAH. Taller by a hair! Then again, his hair is spiky and Bones’ isn’t.

Just slightly shorter than John. Bones says that’s not accounting for general superiority.

But that’s okay! Bones is heavier so his punches have more weight behind them!

John says his increased metabolism keeps him fit, okay? Shut up.

Bonus: Grimm was sitting on top of that shell like it was Pride Rock, but he ran before I could photograph it.

Checking online, it looks like they’re perfectly within norms as far as growth goes. Guess we’ll find out if they’ve grown any in another couple of weeks!

Save the Kirk Fu!

Hey, guys!

I need everybody to do me a favor! We need to save the Kirk Fu! What is Kirk Fu, you ask? This!

This shirt on Teefury was available a few days ago, but now it’s gone! Please help by voting to bring it back! My friend in Norway missed her chance to get it (and so did I), so if you guys and gals and turtles could help us out by clicking on the little “vote to bring back” box on that link, that would be great!

Thanks so much!

 

In Lighter News: Turtle Underwear

So, I went back downstairs after my minor heartattack, only to find Grimm trying to climb up the side of the tank like some sort of Teenage Mutant Spider-Man.

It didn’t work out so well. He suddenly toppled over backwards and lay there stunned as if he couldn’t figure out how his turtle powers had failed him. Being the good mother that I am, I immediately ran upstairs to get my camera.

Grimm is showing his panties to the world.

I did help him flip himself back over because he didn’t even seem keen on doing it himself, as if, by virtue of laying there long enough, he could convince me that the whole debacle was entirely on purpose. Look at him, he’s even posed all, “No. Don’t worry about me. I got this.”

In other news, I learned that sliders (including red-eared sliders) have 13 inner segments to their shells. so I went and counted. Sure enough, Bones and Grimm both have 13 inner “scutes”. Apparently they can have more or less, but that’s the result of improper egg incubation conditions.  It doesn’t seem to have an impact on the turtles’ health, and Grimm and Bones are completely normal anyway.

You can count the “scutes” on Grimm’s shell pretty easy. They’re the inner pieces outlined in black.

Nearly gave myself a heartattack

Today, I noticed that there were little green spots on the rocks in their pool. No problem, I thought. That’s just a little bit of algae.

So I took out the turtles and while they were eating, I changed the water in their pool and boiled the stones and in-water decorations for 10 minutes to kill off the algae. Fine and dandy. I’ll find out if that works in a couple of days. Problem solved! Good job me!

But then I looked at my turtles.

“Oh my god, there’s dark spots on my turtles! The algae is getting them!”

I rushed upstairs to grab an old toothbrush, which I cleaned thoroughly, and then I ran back down to pluck my turtles up and carefully scrub their shells, trying to get the spots off. Out, damned spots! Out, I say!

It wasn’t working. I started to worry, so I let the turtles be, came back upstairs, and started searching online for information about what these mysterious spots might be. Halfway through my search, while I’m reading terrible things about shell rot and bacterial infections and vitamin deficiencies… I realize that, hey, maybe it’s their natural coloration?

So I went back and checked through the pictures on this blog. WELL, LOOK AT THAT. They have dark spots on their shells. I just never really paid it that much attention before.

I am a silly, Canadian bugger.

Anyway, I still went and checked to make sure their shells were healthy and strong, which they are, and they’re eating well, so I’m just a panicky worrier for nothing. I’m the mother who rushes her kid to the hospital for a scraped knee, but I guess that’s better than the mother who lets her kid play with bears?

Even as I write this, I can hear them toddling around in the Enterprise and knocking rocks over as they go. Man, it’s hard being a turtle mom.

On the plus side, I learned some valuable tips about turtle car and how to check if they’re sick, so if a problem does arise in the future, I’ll be better-equipped to identify and deal with it.

But I’m also still a little bit paranoid because I learned that baby turtles can, on rare occasions, seem absolutely fine and healthy when you get them, but then they inexplicably die in about a year because they just get weaker and weaker. Apparently, that’s caused by problems at the place where they were born or by improper transportation, and it hurts their development to a point where they just have no chance for survival later. It’s called “Failure to Thrive” syndrome. That’s depressing.

I’m sure Grimm and Bones will be okay, though! They’re probably from a reputable-enough breeder that they were given proper care. Despite being a little paranoid, I’m also an optimist, so I’ll hope for the best and just make sure that I monitor how they’re doing every day.

It’s almost here!

There are several things to celebrate! Halloween, my birthday, and my love of Star Trek among them! (By “several”, I meant “three”.)

Did you know that Star Trek turned 47 this year? It’s just three years younger than Doctor Who. And you know what’s going to be a great year? 2020, when Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (the original radio broadcast thereof) turns 42! (I totally rhymed there, unintentionally!)

Anyway, in accordance with Bones’ wish to eternally humiliate Spock, he has demanded that I dress up as fem!Spock for Halloween. It will be thoroughly humiliating for Spock, as, being in my late 20’s, I have yet to learn how to put on eyeliner. I’ve never done it before. Or eyeshadow. Or eyebrow pencil. I put on foundation once before, though, so there’s that!

I’ve never found a need for these things in my life, but here I am, trying to figure out how to make my face magically become Vulcan with  what looks like two pencils and a crayon. I never liked crayons.

I did a practice run today, seeing as how I don’t want to be learning how to put on make-up on THE BIG DAY, and let me tell you… I think I have invented the Vulcan version of a prostitute.

We’ll see how this goes.

Red wine or white wine?

Except we’re not really talking about wine here. We’re talking about worms because I noticed something interesting when I was feeding the turtlings today: Grimm likes the bloodworms and Bones likes the nearly-translucent white worms. Does this say something about their respective personalities? I don’t know. Probably.

All I know is that while Bones is standing on Grimm, Grimm will flail around and eat as many of the red worms as he can. And when the roles are switched and somehow Grimm manages to claw his way to the top, Bones gobbles up white worms as quickly as he can without choking.

They still fight over the mealworms, though.

Also, it’s incredibly funny when Grimm mistakes a piece of blackberry for a bloodworm, since they’re the same color, and he bites into it only to spit it out again right after. In my head, he’s screaming whatever the turtle equivalent of “HARBLES!!!” is. It’s bound to be something really funny, considering turtles apparently can only make burping and/or barking noises. I don’t think Red-Eared Sliders make any of those noises, but it would be great if they did.

Anyway, they ate like pigs today and they don’t seem to mind me standing there watching them, which is good. I’ve read on a lot of forums that you have to put the turtles in the feeding container with the food and then leave for about 15 minutes because turtles won’t eat if they’re nervous. I’m glad I don’t have to leave. I’d rather watch and make sure they’re getting enough food.

Plus, hilarity.

Turtle Jail is Working!

My plan is going better than expected. It went like this: continue putting the turtlings into the separate feeding container (turtle jail) until they get used to the idea and maybe they’ll start eating the frozen food like they’re supposed to. It’s like three square meals a day, except there’s only one and it’s rectangular.

Today, not only did they eat their worms, but they also scarfed down (enthusiastically!) a large portion of the food block. I’m officially no longer worried about their health. Everything’s back to normal!

Of course, as soon as I turned off the camera, Bones and Grimm started snuggling. And I really do mean that. Grimm sidled right up next to Bones, put a paw around his shoulders, pressed their chins together and nuzzled him. It was ridiculously cute. I think maybe Grimm gets in a good mood when he’s stuffed himself silly? And maybe Bones gets a little less grumpy?

Turtle Jail (Or: Eat Your Damn Vegetables!)

So, Grimm and Bones are back to eating the worms again. Bones is pretty enthusiastic about it and Grimm takes a little bit to warm up to the idea. I think they’re still in shock about the new size of their pool. And I accidentally wrote “poo” instead of “pool”, so that sentence became instantly hilarious. Good thing I caught that before I published this, or there would be a lot of very confused readers. (I may be grossly overstating how many readers I actually have.)

Anyway, I’m trying to get them used to the idea of this new frozen food I bought a couple of days ago in a fit of worry. There’s one major problem: it has green things in it. I have already established that Grimm and Bones feel that greens are the source of all evil in the world and won’t even look at them. That goes for anything from flowers to blackberries to tomatoes to zucchini to dandelion greens to plums to carrots. Yes, I realize that only two of those things are green.

Anyway, this is how much they pay attention to that new food:

You may have noticed that Bones is standing on Grimm again. There is a definite hierarchy in this tank. It goes like this: Bones > worms > plants > rocks > poop > Grimm.

Anyway, I’ll keep trying to feed them in that smaller container until they get used to it. I’ll get them used to their veggies yet!

 

My efforts have paid off!

Well, the little buggers finally ate something, and the best part is that they ate the worms again. After all that fuss, they decided they like mealworms once more. Why not, right? Let’s just make Jessica worry like crazy for a couple of days and then eat what we were supposed to be eating in the first place. It’ll be HILARIOUS. Better than convincing Spock that “oochie woochie coochie coo” is a real language!

via spaceylacey83 on Tumblr.

I bet that was Bones’ plan. Grimm’s not mean enough to figure that out on his own.

Anyway, the real theory is that they wanted their water to be warmer and were going on a hunger strike to protest. But I have no actual proof of that, because it’s just as likely that they got hungry and decided that worms were better than nothing. They’ve sort of turned their noses up at blackberries and the frozen food. The blackberries I can eat, at least. The frozen food? Well, Grimm looked at it a little, so maybe they’ll feel like giving it a try tomorrow.

Man, this is worse than having a kid. At least a kid could be all, “NO. I DON’T LIKE WORMS ANYMORE!!!”

With turtles, it’s totally a guessing game. They don’t even make burping noises to let me know what’s going on. Still, I’m sure they’re happy with the improvements to the Man Cave, so hopefully they’ll eat without a fuss tomorrow, too.

Bit by bit, I’m learning how to take care of turtles!