Yes, they can breathe through their butts

A little-known and odd fact about turtles: they can breathe through their butts. At least, some of them can.

However, it’s not really breathing as we refer to it. It’s more like the way fish breathe: where specialized organs (in this case, sacs coming off of the turtle’s cloaca, which is sort of its equivalent of a digestive system) absorb oxygen present in water.

Not all turtles can do this, however, and some are better than others, but apparently red-eared sliders, which is what Grimm and Bones are, at least have the capability to breathe through their asses while they hibernate in the winter.

This really doesn’t sound the least bit pleasant, but I guess what else are you going to do when you’re 200 million years old and you’ve evolved everything else to perfection? May as well make your ass multi-purpose.

Although that brings up another issue: turtles sniff each other’s butts. So, you don’t know if some other turtle is saying “hi”, or if he’s trying to tell you that you have a serious case of ass-breath.

Turtle butt.

Reference

Okay, I admit it: Grimm’s not really from Mars

Alright, alright. I may have made some claims along the line that Grimm is a genetically-altered superturtle from Mars. Specifically, at a paleoanthropological excavation site in a crater called Olduvai. Those of you who remember the DOOM movie are probably going, “DUH. He only grew up there.”

Olduvai

Well, Grimm didn’t even grow up on Mars. I have lied to you all. But did you know there’s actually an Olduvai on Earth? WOWEE. I found this out completely by accident. This is Olduvai Gorge and the really awesome part is that it’s one of the most important paleoanthropological sites in the world. Coincidence? I think not.

The REAL Olduvai

But Grimm isn’t from here, either. This Olduvai is actually in the Serengeti Plains in Tanzania. Bones and Grimm are, in reality, from the States. Or possibly Mexico. But probably somewhere in the southern States, which is kind of awesome for Bones, as he can now officially be from Georgia. Grimm’s not so happy about that; I think he wanted to be from California.

Coincidentally, this puts me closer to growing up on Mars than Grimm. There is a Kamloops Crater on Mars. Yes, I am from Kamloops. Yes, I know that’s a terrible name for a city. The best part is that we’re right beside a giant crater that looks like a happy face, which is very appropriate because we are Canadian. :)

So, hopefully everybody learned some cool stuff about Mars. Namely, that turtles don’t really come from there.

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After-note: I remembered a few hours after I wrote this which animals DO come from mars. Mice. Evidently I just got them confused with turtles.

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